the jarv>

No, don't worry, this page won't just be filled with the same old biography stuff you're used to seeing, soon there'll be little blurbs by various people on just why they love Jarvis, how great Jarvis is. etc. etc. (it should be a real big ego trip for him when it's done! ..not that he'll ever read it or anything!!). For now though, you'll have to be content with this bio thing (deja-vu, I know, I know!) taken straight from the His 'n' Hers promo book...
(T.G.F.E.-- thank god for eBay!)



Jarvis Branson Cocker


INSTRUMENTS PLAYED-
HOPF ELECTRIC GUITAR, STYLOPHONE, VOCALIST

WAIST MEASUREMENT-29"

FAVOURITE MEDICINES-
BUTTERCUP SYRUP, GAVISCON, NATRACALM

HOBBIES-CYCLING, WALLOWING IN SELF-PITY,
GOING TO JUMBLE SALES, TRYING TO GIVE UP SMOKING,
COLLECTING CAR STICKERS

SADDEST MOMENT-
FALLING FROM A GIRL'S WINDOW
WHILST ATTEMPTING AN "IMPRESSIVE" STUNT AND
SPENDING 2 MONTHS IN HOSPITAL AS A RESULT.

FAVOURITE FABRIC-VELOUR

FAVOURITE COLOUR-BROWN

CATCHPHRASES-"THAT'S HUGO BOSS",
"TIMELESSLY BAD YET CRAP BOBAH",
"TRAGIC", "CHRONIC", "FULL BLUBBER JACKET",
"LET'S HAVE A BABY LOOK", "LIVE ON"

FAVOURITE GAME-PINBALL

MARITAL STATUS-SINGLE







Old Town Miho aka= Annie says: "He's brillant [gorgeous, etc.], as is the rest of the band..."


Want to tell me just what you think of the wonderful J.C.? Email me *here*.




Jarvis Stories [a new addition!]

[oh the mischief he gets himself into!]



Jarvis: "I was waiting for my own bus outside the cathedral, after nightclubbing, when a gang arrived. I had a plastic mac on, and the ringleader's opening gambit was 'Oh, though you were a bag of rubbish left out for the bin.' My bus arrived but I made the grave error of telling them to f### off and forgetting the bus waits 15 minutes before leaving, so the ringleader got on and thrust his half-eaten kebab in my face. I went home, and you know what a stink kebabs have, with bits of shredded lettuce over me, and my contact lens kind of slipped behind my eye."
[- from Martin Aston's book].





Interviewer person, Pat Pope: "When I saw you at Reading ['94], some fans ran up to you shouting, 'Jarvis, you're God' and that, and you silently took an apple out of your pocket, handed it to them and walked away."

Jarvis: "Did I?"



"Geek style may be hitting the catwalks but it's yet to translate into Real Life. Take young Jarvis Cocker from Pulp. Sitting on the InterCity from Sheffield to London recently he was set upon by some blokes who proceeded to nick his sandwich. They taunted him over his inimitable garb, and then tried to nick his glasses. 'It was most distressing,' he was heard to murmur into a large vodka'n'tonic later that day.." [from Select, mid-nineties].




Former Longpigs lead singer Crispin something-or-other: "I'd like to set a story straight here. I went to an Action Man party about three years ago and there were these small bowls of fish on each table. So I ran off with Sarah and Chris from our table and to this day Jarvis [Cocker, infamous fish rustler] has been credited with stealing two gold fish from that party when in fact it was me. He's never apologized to me for that."